So, what is it I intend to do? Well, I am down to only about $50 cash in total "on hand" money available to me. What that means is, not until the first of April will I be able to have any cash. That day I get my one source of income (my pension) in the mail. The dollar amount has been drastically reduced by the levies anchored to my account and leaves me with a paltry $621.
Just writing that down ($621) has put a nail the coffin of decision. My expenses to live where I am at (one bedroom apt.) will far exceed the money I expect to receive. You see, I only have one more source of income, my social security check, which arrives on the third of April. That check has also been dipped into by the IRS again, and clears at another limp $779. And that's it, folks! Not a hell of a lot to work with.
My thinking now is if I don't have enough hands on cash now to pay all my monthly bills, then if I have even less it still does not get any worse. Because if even one bill can't be covered by the total monthly money in my pocket, that bill alone will always be compounding every month. So I must gamble the $621, and attempt to gather a victory.
But I want you to see right now, right above these lines of verse, that it is that kind of thinking throughout my entire adult life that precipitate the Natural Disasters in my life.
On Thursday , I am going to go to Atlantic City and attempt to play a slow game and accumulate the additional funds that will be required to pay my bills this month. I must really win. I almost don't want to think about where I will be if I lose that $621. I hate to say it , but then I might have to get a job. I was thinking perhaps a limo driver. With gas and the economy the way it is, only the rich people are taking limos. And with the tipping policy for cabbies hanging in there around 20%, the potential of making some easy large money is inevitable. And that would be great for me , (since I am 55), to just
drive around. Sounds easy, right? I guess we'll see.
